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  • Unexpected payoffs of peace

    Posted on by amber Comment

    Whilst it’s been months since the last of the Peaceforger books was published, I’m still processing their impact on my life. I think that the value of doing creative things is often under-realised, and I want everyone—even if not for money or fame and regardless of talent—to have the goodness of doing creative things. So, to inspire you to go do creative things, here is a list in no particular order of…

    5 unexpected ways writing the Peaceforger books has made my everyday life better

    Purple backdrop with darker purple confetti on it. A trophy shaped like a person holding a star lies on it next to 5 silver stars

    • Katja was pretty good at placing blame where it belonged instead of letting guilt that wasn’t hers hang around. Writing her let me practise that enough that her voice now lives in my head…And now I’m better at applying that to my own life. Sorry (not sorry), corporations and capitalism and other structures and people that profited off me not realising the guilt was theirs.
    • I watched people support me and I witnessed one beta reader bravely trust our friendship as she overcame fears about ruining our friendship to give me complete and honest feedback. The end result was that the beta readers and those who supported me created stronger relationships with me.
    • With multiple reasons to consider what makes someone a person, I got the fun of pondering philosophical topics, a few new writing ideas, and a chance to explore common societal biases most of us don’t recognise, which I hope has helped me cleanse some biases I didn’t notice from my brain.
    • I learned more about how my brain works and about what things I actually do have loads of capacity and capability to do. Knowing this is great for planning self-care but also for having something to counter the negativity when I am made to feel bad because of things for which I have little to no capacity and/or capability.
    • I gained more faith in myself as a writer because…1) Finishing one book is a lot, but it’s a whole other thing to pen a sequel and then to finish a trilogy…and 2) I ended up with a different process for each book, leaving me more open to a variety of approaches. Now, I stress less when things that worked before don’t work now. I know I can do this if I just keep poking at things.

    I could make similar lists, each with unique items, for writing poetry, making music, acting, making videos, and all my other creative endeavours (including the ones I’m not at all good at).

    What unexpected goodness have you gotten by doing creative things?


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  • Making my peace

    Posted on by amber Comment

    This year, I wrapped up the Peaceforger trilogy. (It still feels weird to write that…) And I find myself needing to make my peace with the ups and downs of attempting and achieving that.

    Between June 2015—when I wrote the first real draft of Peace Fire, not just a 20k word “summary”—and October 2021, putting the trilogy into the world involved creating:

    • An uncounted number of drafts.
    • Three books (obviously): Peace Fire, Peace Maker, and Peace State.
    • A Radio Edit version for each of the three books.
    • A book trailer for each book, and a cover reveal trailer each for books 2 and 3.
    • A slew of playlists and moodboards.
    • A smattering of other things (including, but not limited to, bookmarks, blogs, and bookplates).

    Is this wrap-up causing some Feelings? Definitely. These characters and their stories have been part of my mental landscape since I was 15, so I’m kind of melancholy that this part of that relationship is over. And it just feels unreal and kind of weird and uncomfortable, because there are lots of ways that moving on will change what fills my head and my hours. But I’m also rocking some celebratory feelings and am proud of myself, especially as I think of all the people who struggle to finish even one book. High five, self!

    Plus, I’m excited to work on my next thing, because it too—at least the “it” that I’m currently working on that I think will be the next thing—has been part of my mental landscape since I was 15. (Not all my friendship choices were bad when I was 15…Heh!)

    So, what is next? I’m glad you asked. Except that I’m also not going to give you too many details yet.

    Currently, if I get no new ideas ever (which I used to fear but now think is unlikely)…

    I’ve got at least 6 more sci-fi novels lined up (1 is near-ish past, 4 are near-ish future, and 1 is faaaaaaaaaaaar future and might become a trilogy). Of them, 3 of the near-ish future ones have been in my head since I was 15 and the faaaaaaaaaaaar future one(s) arguably started putting down roots in my brain when I was maybe as young as 5 or 6. But I promise that they’ve all grown up with me, so they shouldn’t seem like that time your nibling told you long, rambling stories that let you practise your “fixed smile to prevent accidental hurt feelings.”

    I’ve got 2 novels that I’d categorise as fantasy-ish, though both also definitely have some sci-fi to them. Actually, I’d be more likely to categorise one of those as sci-fi with some fantasy to it. Both are present or very-near-future. The idea/full plot for one of those is years old and the ideas and bits for the other just started assaulting my brain this year, though both are rooted in things I’ve loved since I was a kid. (Don’t worry; I was a weird kid who had interests that were beyond my years. And that just means I’ve had extra time to think about how to make good use of those things. Fingers crossed that I actually do make good use…)

    And, of course, I’ve still got ambitions and bits of work going on around my poetry and music, even if life makes it hard for me to do All The Things at once. Not to mention some other creative ideas and projects that have been pushing for my attention. Obviously, I’ll also continue to look for excuses to make videos.

    I just hope I can get enough of these things out of my head and into the world in a good way before the dark future takes me out. Or make peace with being just another artist who never gets to it all…


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  • Peace State at last

    Posted on by amber Comment

    Today is the day! Peace State, the final book in the Peaceforgers trilogy, is out today. I hope you will agree with beta readers and find it a satisfying conclusion to the story.

    If you don’t have your copy, you should be able to find it (or have them order a copy for you) wherever books are sold. And, just in case you prefer to buy online and don’t feel like searching, here are some links to the most usual of suspects:

    Barnes & Noble paperback

    Barnes & Noble ebook

    Google Play Books ebook

    Apple Books ebook

    Amazon paperback

    Amazon ebook

    Bookshop.org paperback

    And find the Radio Edit version (ebook only) at Amazon.

    For those who didn’t get enough of it last time, here’s the video I made for the Peace Fire release with a non-comprehensive list of a few free and easy ways to support artists you love.


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  • Meat Space Explained

    Posted on by amber Comment

    Before I get into the meat (haha) of this post…I’m still sorting the cadence, and it could vary if something comes up, but I’m probably going to move to doing blogs and sending messages to my mailing list on a quarterly basis for a while. With the writing and editing wrapped up on the last Peaceforger book, my mind wants to dive into the next book after that. To that end, I want to maximise time spent working on the book. And, since you are more likely to be following me for my books than my life-changing blogs (heh!), I suspect you’ll appreciate that as well. Okay, onto the good stuff!

    As promised when I first posted the playlist for Peace Maker, here’s a quick explanation of which place each song in the playlist is about. I’m posting the playlist again here so that there’s a bit of a buffer between this and the MANY SPOILERS in the explanations. (I mean, I’m hoping that keeping them short helps reduce spoilers, but, seriously, SPOILERS.)

    Okay, last warning: SPOILERS!

    1. Public Image Ltd – Seattle is, well, for Seattle.
    2. Depeche Mode – Pipeline, from the Construction Time Again album, is for the construction equipment office where they interrogate Zane.
    3. The Weirdos – The Hideout is for the warehouse that’s their main hideout, cos I couldn’t think of warehouse songs and the ones with that in the title weren’t right.
    4. The Cure – Jumping Someone Else’s Train is for the train station where Katja meets Lex.
    5. Placebo – Burger Queen is for the burger joint where they eat with Lex and Marleina.
    6. The Geto Boys – Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta, from the Office Space soundtrack, is for the empty office where they meet Zane in the middle of the night that one time.
    7. Emily Haines & the Soft Skeletons – Doctor Blind is for Dr. Scott’s office.
    8. Manufacture – Many Machines is for the plant, and gets extra points for Dune samples. RIP MindKiller!
    9. Sneaker Pimps – 6 Underground is for the Seattle underground.
    10. The Refreshments – Banditos is for the Mexican place where Katja sees Engalls.
    11. The Prodigy – Fuel My Fire is for the fueling station, with extra points because it has relevant themes.

    The highest number of correct or close-to-correct guesses came from Iris A. Nice work!


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  • Ripped from the Headlines!

    Posted on by amber Comment

    (Non-spoiler-y)

    Greetings from the end of the dumpster fire of a year that was 2020, a year in which Too Much happened. A year that many writers of books and scripts will point to when someone gives feedback like, “It seems super improbable that these things would happen.” A year that was approximately the 4th in a row filled with things that seemed unbelievable. (Please enjoy just a few of the many images I found looking for one for this post. They’ll help you remember that, mainly, the news was full of said dumpster fire.)

    And, of course, when I wrote the first draft of Peace Maker, it was still early 2016 (a whole year before the delightful photo of me at the top of this post, where it looks like I did know what was coming…) and much of what was going to happen after that draft was done would still have sounded too unreal to ever happen.

    So, I’d like make it clear that I was trying to write with some amount of restraint, some amount of realism. I was imagining what sort of things the future might hold. IMAGINING.

    Now, you might read Peace Maker and think some of it was surely written this year and was not, in fact, just me imagining as I’ve claimed above.

    As the release date approached, I suddenly saw my story as one might if one had not been the writer, had not been living with it for years. And, when you read it, you’ll wonder why I didn’t realise what you might think until sometime in September; it will be pretty obvious what I think you’ll think I wrote this year. You may well doubt me.

    But my beta readers can tell you that the version they got in January 2018 had this same plot and all the same things in it. Which means I have witnesses. Which means I’m doing better with this book’s disclaimer post than with the one I made for Peace Fire.

    For Peace Fire, I had to clarify that I hadn’t used a real “who.” For Peace Maker, it’s that I didn’t take any real “what.”

    I can’t see any suspicions about me not creating the “when” (I mean, 2050 is a real year that will happen, if we don’t destroy ourselves, so I won’t be claiming I imagined that) or the “where” (we all know Seattle is a real place). Which I guess means we now wait to see which “why” or “how” I accidentally seem to steal for the final book in the trilogy.

    (Which, fortunately, beta readers can attest they got last September, over 2 years before it will be published…My reputation might remain safe!)


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  • Actually Katja

    Posted on by amber Comment

    I think I’ve mentioned it enough and am open enough about it that you likely already know that I’m Autistic. What you might not have known, until someone mentioned it in Peace Maker, is that Katja (the main character of the Peaceforger trilogy) is also #ActuallyAutistic. And you can’t be blamed for not knowing, because…

    …Because nobody said anything about it in Peace Fire, even though she was as Autistic then as in the second book. Just like my friends, as far as I know, aren’t constantly talking about me being Autistic.

    …Because women and girls on the spectrum remain under-diagnosed. I’ve even heard about one man who specialises in assessing autism who missed that his own daughter is Autistic. (The studies and figures cling to the gender binary, but I imagine this generally applies to AFAB people. Also, I am uncomfortable using the word “diagnosed” in this context, as autism isn’t an illness, but…that’s another topic.)

    …Because I only got my autism assessment in 2014 and it took me a while to feel I had a right to really claim or write that reality. Since Peace Fire finally found its way to the page for the first time in 2014, I was definitely not feeling my rights then.

    …Because, as we say in Autistic circles, if you’ve met one Autistic person, you’ve met one Autistic person; we’re as different from each other as we are from neurotypical people. And most of what people think of as how Autistic people are is based in stereotypes of male Autistics. So, even if you’ve got an Autistic friend, your “education” in us is likely incomplete.

    However, by the time I wrote Peace Maker, I was ready to own it. I felt I had a right to just flat-out state that truth of who Katja is. After all…

    …If I want Autistic representation in media, I should do more than just want. And I shouldn’t keep it quiet.

    …If I want Autistic people in media who are, by my experience and understanding, realistic, I should do more than just want.

    …If I want people to respect the call of “nothing about us without us” that we Autistic people often make, I should take advantage of this opportunity to make it about one of us, with (by) one of us.

    In fact, once I embraced this, I realised that every idea I currently had for new books involved Autistic main characters. Which led to a little examination. Was it weird that that was the case? Was it okay that that was the case?

    And then I thought of all the neurotypical people who, without a qualm, only write neurotypical main characters. In fact, all those books I’d read by cis, het, neurotypical, non-disabled white men tended to have main characters who could also be described that way. And people didn’t seem to question that very much for decades (centuries?).

    Oh.

    Just to be sure, I ran this by a number of people I respect and whom I trust to tell it to me straight and call me on my rubbish. And they agreed with me. Which means that, hurrah!, Katja was my first but certainly not my last Autistic main character.

    We might need to handle things a little differently, but there is room for people like me in book-worthy situations. Just like there’s room for us in the world.


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  • Meat Space Is the Place

    Posted on by amber Comment

    If you’ve been around since Peace Fire, you know one of the things I like making is playlists. You might even have heard me mention that, on my computer, I’ve got hundreds of them. Which means that you are surely shocked—SHOCKED!—to hear that I’ve created a playlist to go with Peace Maker and have some character-specific ones in the works.

    Technically, the playlist I made for Peace Fire wasn’t just a general playlist that embodied the book but was a playlist I thought Gran would have made in the 2010s if she knew her grandkid would be a hacker. So, instead of a straight-up Peace Maker playlist, I’ve gone another way.

    Please enjoy the late-night placeholder image I created to go with the playlist until I make a moodboard for the book. Pure class, non?

    Introducing Meat Space Is the Place, a playlist of songs inspired by physical places Katja actually gets to go in Peace Maker. Because she probably needs to be reminded that she does go places…And, recalling my frustrations when almost every playlist I made for Peace Fire or one of its characters was missing songs when I put them on Spotify, I carefully made this one with songs that Spotify actually has. Oppressive, but it means you’re getting the full playlist and not some partial, sad thing.

    Note for my Radio Edit readers: Some of these songs have Language and/or Themes you might not love.

    Now, play the list! And then, play my game! (Explanation after the embedded playlist here.)

    Okay, so. Some of you HAVE read Peace Fire but you have NOT yet read Peace Maker. If that’s you (though I reckon you could have a go if you haven’t read either book), I would love you to drop me a comment with your guesses about what place (or type of place, since, aside from the super obvious one, I’m not expecting you to name a specific location) each song in the playlist might be about. I won’t approve your comment until November when I’m done taking guesses. That way, nobody can steal your brilliance. Please, feel free to be as serious or silly as the list inspires you to be. And, yes, you can skip songs, but maybe the skipped songs are opportunities for non-serious guesses.

    (Want to feel extra free to share your silly ideas? The last song in this playlist was almost a Sir Mix-A-Lot song just to emphasise the place from the first song…)

    Though what I’d really love is if you were willing to make a video of you saying, or holding up signs with, your guesses that I can use when I make the video I’m planning to make. Please make sure you clearly state that you’re okay with me using footage from your video. If you’re going the sign route, you could also share pictures of you and the sign.

    I’ll be sharing (and not unkindly! my intent isn’t to mock you at all) guesses when I write a blog (and include my companion video) about where the songs are actually about. Because, as I made the playlist, I was kind of delighted to think of where people might guess each song was about.

    Deadline: Please post all guesses by November 7.

    I’m planning the blog to post in January (with a spoiler warning so folks can choose to come back later, but having given eager early readers a solid chance to read) with the companion video (posted to my YouTube channel) of me sharing guesses and then telling people what’s real. This deadline will give me time, taking into account holidays and other things on my plate, to have something by then.

    Thanks in advance for playing along!


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  • Peace Maker is here!

    Posted on by amber Comment

    Unlike the wait for this sequel (just 5 days short of 4 years!), I’ll keep this short and sweet. But just in case you didn’t see any of the social media yesterday…and just in case you’ve been WAITING, AMBER for this to happen for 4 years…

    Hello. It is 7 October, 2020, which means that Peace Maker finally came out yesterday. Hurrah! The first draft was done at least 6 months (if my notes are correct) before the first book, Peace Fire, even came out. But…Look, everyone involved had Things go down that held this up. April 2016 to now, there lost lives, lost jobs, new homes, new jobs, mental and physical health issues large and small, and so forth. Yikes. It’s almost like the world, or at least the nation in which I currently live, has been a dumpster fire of troubles from 2016 to now…

    Enjoy my hastily composed still life for Peace Maker

    But here is it, the 2nd book in the Peaceforgers trilogy. And I am so, so thrilled it’s finally in your hands. Or it could be…If you don’t have your copy, you should be able to find it (or have them order a copy for you) wherever books are sold. And, just in case you prefer to buy online and don’t feel like searching, here are some links to the most usual of suspects:

    Barnes & Noble paperback

    Barnes & Noble ebook

    Google Play Books ebook

    Apple Books ebook

    Amazon paperback

    Amazon ebook

    And find the Radio Edit version (ebook only) at Amazon. (It should be showing up some other places, but there’s been no joy so far.)

    For those who didn’t get enough of it last time, here’s the video I made for the Peace Fire release with a non-comprehensive list of a few free and easy ways to support artists you love.


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  • I Still Swear…

    Posted on by amber Comment

    It probably shouldn’t surprise you to learn that, just like Peace Fire (book 1 in the Peaceforgers trilogy), Peace Maker (the next book in the trilogy, starring the same characters) also has The Swears.

    The short version: There is definitely swearing in my book. More swearing, in fact, than in the last book. There is also a version I made just for without it anti-swearing people. You’ll have to scroll (or read) to the end for information about that. (Pre-order that version here.)

    The long version…

    Actually, I’m going to refer you back to the swearing post for Peace Fire for all the context and thoughts and such. Here, I’m going to tell you the numbers (whilst using enough censorship that this post stays swear-free). You know, in case you’re skipping the other swearing post and so still underestimate just how swear-y this sequel is.

     

    A jar labelled "swear jar" and filled with large denominations of money and a credit card

    Let’s pull out ye olde swear jar and calculate the damage. In my 307 pages of story, the following words (or variations thereof) show up the number of times listed here:

    • F-word: 300
    • S-word: 285
    • D-word: 65
    • H-word: 70 (but some might be in words like “shell” because I used Find to do a word count, which introduced some uncertainty for some of these)
    • Rude words related to male genitals: 8 (but only when used in that sense, because, for instance, one can be cocky or be pricked by a needle and that’s not rude)
    • A-word: Whether you spell it the “usual” way or the variant that includes an R, it’s the sort of thing that might show up in words like “parse,” “assume,” “password,” etc, so there’s no easy way to get an accurate count. But those of you who didn’t run away after the f-bomb count can probably handle this…
    • B-words: 26 of one and 28 of the other
    • Random other words that I’ve learnt are considered pretty much like swears to a US English audience: 3, but I can’t promise I searched for all the words you’d hope
    • Because it is of special concern to some of you, whether you read the normal or edited version, I want to note that I did not use the Lord’s name in vain.

    But, as promised when I made the first one happen, Peace Maker gets a Radio Edit version as well. (And now I’m going to pretty much repeat what was in the last post. If you just re-read that, unless you need to know the other, less-likely to offend US English people numbers, you now know everything! Well, everything covered by this post.)

    I called it the Radio Edit because, as most of you probably know, music is a massive part in my life. When I think about voluntarily censoring something I’ve created, my mind immediately goes to radio edits of songs. Though I could totally use words on the radio that I’ve taken out of the Radio Edit. I could also have way more sexiness on the radio than you’ll find in the Radio Edit.

    Because it’s the culture in which the story takes place (and, yes, what counts as swearing varies based on which English-speaking country you’re in), I did the edit based on US English swearing. It should be good for you non-swearing folks in general, given my experience has been that, overall, US English is the most limiting variation. Unless you have a problem with words like “crap,” “piss,” and “jerk,” in which case I really can’t scale it back enough for you. (I also left in phrases like “the evidence was damning” because there are non-swearing uses of words that US English considers swears in other contexts.)

    Actually, here’s a count for words that are something like those mentioned in the last paragraph:

    • Bloody – 6 times in a sense other than “having actual blood on them” in the regular version, and 27 times in the Radio Edit. Left in or used as a replacement because I opted for US English ideas of swearing, and it’s not really seen as a rude word at all in the US as far as I can tell.
    • Crap – Whilst it shows up only 1 time in the regular version, it shows up 143 times in the Radio Edit. Left in or used as a replacement for the same reason as “bloody.” But clearly used a lot more than bloody…
    • Piss – 5 times in both versions. But…listen, I hear some of you non-swear folks say you’re “pissed off,” so I feel pretty okay about this. After all, you’re not giving this book to your kids (in front of whom I’ve heard non-swear folks use the word anyway). “Piss” seems like a pretty reasonable non-swear rude word these days.
    • Bollocks – 1 time in both versions. Left in for the same reason as “bloody.”
    • Screw – 1 time in the regular version, and 64 times in the Radio Edit. But a good percentage of those new times are in the quite innocuous sense of messing up.
    • Shag – 1 time in the regular version, and 3 times in the Radio Edit. Left in or used as a replacement for the same reason as “bloody.”
    • Sod – 0 times in the regular version, and 12 times in the Radio Edit. Used as a replacement for the same reason as “bloody.”
    • Bugger – 0 times in the regular version, and 4 times in the Radio Edit. Used as a replacement for the same reason as “bloody.”

    The swearing was not removed by just using the Find and Replace function. (For instance, I did not just replace every f-bomb with the same word.) That would have left a massively inferior book (instead of one that I just feel isn’t as authentic sounding). What actually happened is that I made a list of every swear word I could think of and a few extra-rude words, and then I used Find to locate them. (If I missed anything, please accept my most sincere apologies. The cost of a full line edit and the impact on timelines was not something we could work out.) I then made changes on a case-by-case basis. (Which only confirmed my belief that swear words serve particular purposes and carry their own, unique connotations and nuances. But this edit isn’t about me; it’s about you. So, I did my best for you, all things considered.)

    If the Radio Edit does well enough, it will be part of the plan from the start to do it for books I write after this that are more than the tiniest bit sweary. Though I’ll definitely press for it for the last Peaceforgers book because it would be unkind to you anti-swear readers to do otherwise at this point. Because it’s not the way things are normally done and due to the cost (in terms of time, money, and energy), it will only be an ebook. Currently, Amazon is the only place I’ve confirmed it will be available for pre-order. (If you don’t have a Kindle, you can download the Kindle app to your computer or device. That’s what I use!) I’m working to make it available more widely, and hope to at least have it available through Barnes and Noble (as an ebook). If you search for Peace Maker at your preferred ebook supplier, unless the cover is the one you see above (with the Radio Edit stamp on it) and the description notes that it has been edited for swearing, I can’t guarantee that’s what you’re getting. Shop carefully!

    xxx

    Peace Maker (Radio Edit) is now available for pre-order here


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  • Judging this Book by Its Cover

    Posted on by amber Comment

    Because you’re certainly on my mailing list and/or following me on social media (and somehow evading the algorithms that keep us all from seeing all the things we asked to see), you’ve seen the cover for Peace Maker already. It’s another good one by George Cotronis at Ravenkult, the artist who did the Peace Fire cover.

    After the clean and simple Peace Fire cover, I thought it might be nice, in a non-spoilery way, if I tried to point out five details of this Peace Maker cover that might tell you a little about what’s in this 2nd book of the Peaceforgers trilogy.

    1. Things are messier, not nearly so clear or obvious or straight-forward.
    2. That same basic silhouette confirms that it’s still Katja telling us this story.
    3. We can see she’s still hood up and boots on and, though it’s not quite the same, still got light in her. Ready for action, but maybe not quite where she was in Peace Fire.
    4. And she’s still facing down a circular shape, but it’s also not quite what it was in Peace Fire.
    5. The picture—in the circles of light and scattered throughout—has plenty of a light, bright blue you might remember from Peace Fire.

    For more than that, well, you’ll have to actually read what’s behind this cover when the book is out 6 October…

    xxx

    Pre-order Peace Maker wherever you usually buy books. Though, at this time, I’ve been told that nobody can find a listing for the paperback. Argh! They are, I’m promised, working on it…

    Here’s a wee link roundup if you’d like to pre-order the ebook at the bigger Usual Suspects:

    But I also know it’s being sold through smaller (aka they haven’t yet tried to take over the world) outlets, and the paperback should also be available everywhere. Eventually…At the very least, once it’s out, you should be able to ask your fav indie bookshop to order it for you!

    Oh, and it’s on GoodReads, in case you want to note that you’d like to read it…


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